I Am Tired Of Dying.
This isn’t a sensational headline, this is not an attempt to shock you into reading another hard hitting opinion piece on race relations, this is me, exhausted, hurting and just fucking tired. I am tired of this never ending war on black people. I am not being dramatic, we are under attack in a war that is being fought on so many fronts.
The headlines today speak of the murder of George Floyd, a 40 year black man in Minneapolis. Murdered in broad daylight, in front of people who literally begged the white police officer to spare the life of the black man he was arresting. Smirking, the Police Officer squeezed the life out of another human being, a black man, just like me. He crushed him, foot on the like an animal. I am tired.
We can’t keep turning the other cheek, Do we need to start killing them too? How many more marches can we have? How many more funerals? On how many more fronts do we have to fight on? When you are consistently sought out and killed, how much is too much?
Black people are being attacked on every front.
In this time of Covid-19, we are fighting a war on the Health front. Black people, men especially are more than twice as likely, in some cases 4.2 times more likely to die from this virus in the west. Because we are marginalised, we are dying, because in many cases there is a lack access to basic healthcare created primarily by lack of money, we are dying. Health and Financial muscle are so entertwined and are beyond many of us. So we die. The white man kills us, corona kills us. Everyone kills us. I am tired man
A black man tells a white woman to leash her dog in an area of New York’s Central Park, in an area where dogs are supposed to be on a leash. She feels no way in calling the cops and plays the white victim so that her enforcers can come and kill another black person. It back fired for her because of social media, but it could have ended so differently. These killers are demons.
They are trying to kill us economically too. The founder of a successful black company which deals in organic feminine hygiene products is called a racist because she wants to inspire young black girls to do more, to be more. The American white woman is horrified, so begins to try and tear down the said company and from the comfort of suburban America posts negative comments across social media about the products of this company, just because the founder wants to inspire black girls.
A black man, jogging, can be murdered in broad daylight. Shot to death by two white men in cold blood.
These people are demons.
27 years ago, Stephen Lawrence was stabbed to death in South East London, his crime was being black in the wrong place at the wrong time. The racist system initially allowed his killers to walk free and had it not been for the tenacity of his parents they would have gotten grow old, in the freedom that their murderous hands denied Stephen. We are tired.
A 90 year old grandmother is knocked to the ground by cops while attempting to shield her grandson from the officers who have their weapons drawn after he drove through a stop sign. Guns drawn … He drove through a fucking stop sign. Where are the stop signs when it comes to killing us. I am TIRED.
A white person reading this will probably be offended. I’m glad you are, your people have been killing my people for centuries. I’m offended too, I’m also tired. Reni Eddo-Lodge begins her book “Why I am no longer talking to white people about race” with the following statement
“I’m no longer engaging with white people on the topic of race. Not all white people, just the vast majority who refuse to accept the legitimacy of structural racism and it’s symptons. I can no longer engage with the gulf of an emotional disconnect that white people display when a person of colour articulates their experience”
So back to my white friend who might be reading this, please allow me to not care about how it makes you feel right now. I am tired. I hope Minneapolis burns tonight. I hope the anger boils over.
George is now just a memory to his family.
They’re tired too.
